JimBob
11-27-2008, 09:18 AM
Yuck: Bedlam tickets, USC and TU's luck
By The Picker
11/27/2008
Last Modified: 11/27/2008 3:25 AM
It has been an unbelievable season.
Here are the 25 most unbelievable events.
25. Fans are still going to Oklahoma City Whoopee Cushion (Thunder) games.
24. Michigan installs a high school offense.
23. Few listen when the Picker calls Texas Tech "overrated mush."
22. Arkansas does not apologize for firing Nutt.
21. Buick fires Tiger probably 15 seconds before Tiger would have quit Buick.
20. ESPN's Neil Everett still has a job.
19. Somebody said Sports Illustrated is still a magazine.
18. McDonalds makes a better latte than Starbucks.
17. Dick Vitale simply won't stop.
16. Nobody has sued the BCS.
15. The OU women's hoops team is outrun by senior fans sitting court-side.
14. On the popular TV show "Lost," a monster apparently made of lint eats people.
13. Somebody said the NASCAR season is over.
12. Penn State loses to air.
11. USC loses to fog.
10. Notre Dame defies logic by stinking again.
9. Daniel Craig can't carry Sean Connery's olive.
8. Romo forsakes intellectualizing.
7. Local sports talk radio has a rating book consisting of six relatives, one jail floor, and a wino in a pear tree.
6. TU flinches at the big-time in both major sports.
5. Forty-eight million turkeys will no longer be with us after today.
4. Kansas State gives up football.
3. JoePa puts it in his will that he would still like to coach one more year.
2. By refusing to sell singles, the Oklahoma State athletic department is guilty of scalping tickets on state property.
1. People actually voted OU ahead of Texas this week.
PICKS
Thanksgiving
The Aggies at Texas (-34): The Bowl Cheating Series (BCS) has turned college football into Dancing With the Homers. After each completed pass, voters hold up cards with 9.9 style point ratings.
Texas by 50.
Tennessee (-10) at Detroit: Nothing says indigestion like the Lions.
Tennessee by 13.
Seattle at Dallas (10 1/2): Put the camera on Jessica.
Dallas by 13.
Friday
LSU (-4 1/2) at Arkansas: Somebody dust off Bacon Broyles, Ark sports have cratered.
LSU by 2.
Colorado at Nebraska (-15): Buff coach has more mouth than game.
Nebraska by 17.
Saturday
OU (- 7 1/2) at OSU: The OU-Texas game?
What OU-Texas game?
To some Sooner fans, it never happened.
Scandals abound prior to this one.
First, there's the amnesia gripping homers everywhere as OU is considered way better than Texas.
Next, there's the OSU season ticket fiasco, a scam gone bad that amounts to scalping on state property. In one of the biggest games in OSU sports history, fans are being denied access to empty seats.
Will the campus fuzz spray with fire hoses Cowboy fans seeking single tickets?
The athletic director's policy is no season ticket, no admittance. What does he think he's running, a country club?
They shouldn't have expanded the stadium, they should have hacked it in half and served tea and crumpets.
The seat embarrassment casts a depressing fog over the event.
Meanwhile back on the field, can the OU defensive coordinator stop a quarterback who doesn't stand back there like a scarecrow?
Can the OSU team overcome its own athletic department?
Will Manning-brothers-like OU quarterback Bradford be the top draft pick?
OU by 1.
TU (-14) at Marshall: Houston hangover lingers.
TU by 9.
Baylor at Texas Tech (20): Mickey Mouse returns to its hole in the night. System team, Canadian league quarterback, same old, same old.
Tech by 17.
Missouri (-13) versus Kansas in Kansas City: Missouri is being ignored, and for a number of very good reasons, starting with a debatable defense.
Missouri by 16.
Auburn at Alabama (-14 1/2): To lack the style in which points are awarded.
Alabama by 20.
Florida (-15) at Florida State: JoePa probably dragged Bowden back into the race to 100.
ESPN's crush on Tebow grows and shows.
Florida by only 4.
Sunday
Carolina at Green Bay (-3): Favre sign in the stands could bring frozen tears.
Green Bay by 6.
Giants (-3) at the Redskins: Manning versus Manning final?
Giants by 2.
Steelers at New England (-1): Steelers not only win ugly, they warm up ugly.
NE by 4.
Bears at Minnesota (-3 1/2): Game plan for Gus: Just hand it off.
Minnie by 3.
Monday
Jacksonville at Houston (-3): Remember the great institution of Monday Night Football?
Then ESPN took over.
This stuff is fit for Wednesday.
Houston by 4.
By The Picker
11/27/2008
Last Modified: 11/27/2008 3:25 AM
It has been an unbelievable season.
Here are the 25 most unbelievable events.
25. Fans are still going to Oklahoma City Whoopee Cushion (Thunder) games.
24. Michigan installs a high school offense.
23. Few listen when the Picker calls Texas Tech "overrated mush."
22. Arkansas does not apologize for firing Nutt.
21. Buick fires Tiger probably 15 seconds before Tiger would have quit Buick.
20. ESPN's Neil Everett still has a job.
19. Somebody said Sports Illustrated is still a magazine.
18. McDonalds makes a better latte than Starbucks.
17. Dick Vitale simply won't stop.
16. Nobody has sued the BCS.
15. The OU women's hoops team is outrun by senior fans sitting court-side.
14. On the popular TV show "Lost," a monster apparently made of lint eats people.
13. Somebody said the NASCAR season is over.
12. Penn State loses to air.
11. USC loses to fog.
10. Notre Dame defies logic by stinking again.
9. Daniel Craig can't carry Sean Connery's olive.
8. Romo forsakes intellectualizing.
7. Local sports talk radio has a rating book consisting of six relatives, one jail floor, and a wino in a pear tree.
6. TU flinches at the big-time in both major sports.
5. Forty-eight million turkeys will no longer be with us after today.
4. Kansas State gives up football.
3. JoePa puts it in his will that he would still like to coach one more year.
2. By refusing to sell singles, the Oklahoma State athletic department is guilty of scalping tickets on state property.
1. People actually voted OU ahead of Texas this week.
PICKS
Thanksgiving
The Aggies at Texas (-34): The Bowl Cheating Series (BCS) has turned college football into Dancing With the Homers. After each completed pass, voters hold up cards with 9.9 style point ratings.
Texas by 50.
Tennessee (-10) at Detroit: Nothing says indigestion like the Lions.
Tennessee by 13.
Seattle at Dallas (10 1/2): Put the camera on Jessica.
Dallas by 13.
Friday
LSU (-4 1/2) at Arkansas: Somebody dust off Bacon Broyles, Ark sports have cratered.
LSU by 2.
Colorado at Nebraska (-15): Buff coach has more mouth than game.
Nebraska by 17.
Saturday
OU (- 7 1/2) at OSU: The OU-Texas game?
What OU-Texas game?
To some Sooner fans, it never happened.
Scandals abound prior to this one.
First, there's the amnesia gripping homers everywhere as OU is considered way better than Texas.
Next, there's the OSU season ticket fiasco, a scam gone bad that amounts to scalping on state property. In one of the biggest games in OSU sports history, fans are being denied access to empty seats.
Will the campus fuzz spray with fire hoses Cowboy fans seeking single tickets?
The athletic director's policy is no season ticket, no admittance. What does he think he's running, a country club?
They shouldn't have expanded the stadium, they should have hacked it in half and served tea and crumpets.
The seat embarrassment casts a depressing fog over the event.
Meanwhile back on the field, can the OU defensive coordinator stop a quarterback who doesn't stand back there like a scarecrow?
Can the OSU team overcome its own athletic department?
Will Manning-brothers-like OU quarterback Bradford be the top draft pick?
OU by 1.
TU (-14) at Marshall: Houston hangover lingers.
TU by 9.
Baylor at Texas Tech (20): Mickey Mouse returns to its hole in the night. System team, Canadian league quarterback, same old, same old.
Tech by 17.
Missouri (-13) versus Kansas in Kansas City: Missouri is being ignored, and for a number of very good reasons, starting with a debatable defense.
Missouri by 16.
Auburn at Alabama (-14 1/2): To lack the style in which points are awarded.
Alabama by 20.
Florida (-15) at Florida State: JoePa probably dragged Bowden back into the race to 100.
ESPN's crush on Tebow grows and shows.
Florida by only 4.
Sunday
Carolina at Green Bay (-3): Favre sign in the stands could bring frozen tears.
Green Bay by 6.
Giants (-3) at the Redskins: Manning versus Manning final?
Giants by 2.
Steelers at New England (-1): Steelers not only win ugly, they warm up ugly.
NE by 4.
Bears at Minnesota (-3 1/2): Game plan for Gus: Just hand it off.
Minnie by 3.
Monday
Jacksonville at Houston (-3): Remember the great institution of Monday Night Football?
Then ESPN took over.
This stuff is fit for Wednesday.
Houston by 4.