JimBob
09-03-2009, 04:00 PM
Re-creating an OU press conference
By The Picker
Published: 9/3/2009 3:16 AM
Last Modified: 9/3/2009 2:15 PM
The big news at the OU press conference this week was whether or not an Oklahoma City writer called the Sooner football coach "Bobby."
Surely it didn't happen.
You don't call coach Paterno Joey; you don't call the Alabama coach Sabes; you don't call the SF 49er coach Mikey.
But don't you just love this state's media.
Here is our impression of the typical OU press conference.
"Al, you get the first question."
"How great do you think the recruits who have not yet been recruited are going to be?"
"We like what we're doing here. Next question."
"Coach, why would anybody in his right mind go to Oklahoma State?"
"I don't have the answer to that. Next."
"What is your opinion of the new shotgun formation used by the Ruf/Neks?"
"We appreciate all our support. Over on the left."
"Coach Stoops, do you think that the optimism in the media carries over to the football team?"
"Couldn't say. Last question."
"Coach, why is the national media so negative about OU?"
"Probably jealous of you people. See you next week."
PICKS
Tonight
South Carolina at North Carolina State (-4): Spurrier has been phoning it in from behind the 9th green for years.
State by 2.
Oregon at Boise State (-5): The BCS people figure to be wearing their ducky Team Nike shirts here, as, with a win, Boise skates undefeated and stirs the masses into more playoff talk.
Don't adjust your beer, the field is blue, the uniforms are mossy.
Boise by 3.
Friday
Tulsa (-14 1/2) at Tulane: Beautiful product placement as TU has the nation to itself.
Tulsa is reloading new weaponry here, as the fine quarterback and finer offensive coordinator have relocated.
Being outmanned is in Tulane's DNA.
Still, need to see much defensive improvement before tailgating at the bandwagon.
TU by 14.
Saturday
Western Michigan at Michigan (-11): Under the new regime, the Big House at Michigan has taken on new meaning.
As in: Lockdown at oh seventeen hundred hours.
Mich by 16.
Nevada at Notre Dame (-14): Nevada runs something like a totem pole offense, with three guys behind an athletic quarterback.
Weis guy must win or seek witness protection program.
Dame by 17.
Georgia at Oklahoma State (-6): All the secrecy, this feels more like a Harrison Ford "Raiders" sequel than a football game, like busting into a monument to find T. Boone in there, melting gold.
There was Les, now Gundy. Is there a rule, you have to be wacky to coach the Cowboys?
The OSU fans are starting to choke like crazy, even in the face of an average quarterback.
It's simple, is OSU all bull?
OSU by 7.
OU (-21 1/2) at BYU: Those BYU coaches look reasonably young.
Wait, that's the team.
Stoops apt to detect a little steam from the critics after a 1-8 mark in his last 9 big ones, losing three of four to Big Mack, and five straight BCS bowls.
It's all on Venables this year, the corners need to make some plays.
BYU is quick upstairs, slow afoot.
OU by 28.
Illinois (-7) versus Missouri: Illinois could pass for a non-Big Ten team.
Illinois by 9.
Rice at UAB (-5 1/2): How'd this game get in here?
UAB by 1.
Baylor at Wake Forest (-1 1/2): Just what the Big 12 doesn't need in the opening round, a fat lip.
Wake by 4.
New Mexico at Texas A&M (-14): Most disappointing team of two most recent centuries opens its home season.
Aggies by 17.
Alabama (-7) versus Virginia Tech: Double figures might not be reached by either of these until week two.
Alabama by 2.
Sunday Mississippi (-17) at Memphis: Arkansas was a Nutt to run this guy off.
Miss by 20.
Colorado State at Colorado (-10 1/2): Buff fans closer to laid out than laid back.
Colorado coach no longer even talks a good game, must win.
Colorado by 13.
Monday Cincy at Rutgers (- 5 1/2): Big East, Ivy football tough to tell apart.
Rutgers by 1.
Miami at Florida State (-5 1/2): Coach Bowden, wake up, it's third and three.
Toughest schedule on earth grinds down Miami.
State by 6.
Bonus John Brooks impression: Jiiiiiiiiiminy Junior Prom, I'm doing a high school game!
By The Picker
Published: 9/3/2009 3:16 AM
Last Modified: 9/3/2009 2:15 PM
The big news at the OU press conference this week was whether or not an Oklahoma City writer called the Sooner football coach "Bobby."
Surely it didn't happen.
You don't call coach Paterno Joey; you don't call the Alabama coach Sabes; you don't call the SF 49er coach Mikey.
But don't you just love this state's media.
Here is our impression of the typical OU press conference.
"Al, you get the first question."
"How great do you think the recruits who have not yet been recruited are going to be?"
"We like what we're doing here. Next question."
"Coach, why would anybody in his right mind go to Oklahoma State?"
"I don't have the answer to that. Next."
"What is your opinion of the new shotgun formation used by the Ruf/Neks?"
"We appreciate all our support. Over on the left."
"Coach Stoops, do you think that the optimism in the media carries over to the football team?"
"Couldn't say. Last question."
"Coach, why is the national media so negative about OU?"
"Probably jealous of you people. See you next week."
PICKS
Tonight
South Carolina at North Carolina State (-4): Spurrier has been phoning it in from behind the 9th green for years.
State by 2.
Oregon at Boise State (-5): The BCS people figure to be wearing their ducky Team Nike shirts here, as, with a win, Boise skates undefeated and stirs the masses into more playoff talk.
Don't adjust your beer, the field is blue, the uniforms are mossy.
Boise by 3.
Friday
Tulsa (-14 1/2) at Tulane: Beautiful product placement as TU has the nation to itself.
Tulsa is reloading new weaponry here, as the fine quarterback and finer offensive coordinator have relocated.
Being outmanned is in Tulane's DNA.
Still, need to see much defensive improvement before tailgating at the bandwagon.
TU by 14.
Saturday
Western Michigan at Michigan (-11): Under the new regime, the Big House at Michigan has taken on new meaning.
As in: Lockdown at oh seventeen hundred hours.
Mich by 16.
Nevada at Notre Dame (-14): Nevada runs something like a totem pole offense, with three guys behind an athletic quarterback.
Weis guy must win or seek witness protection program.
Dame by 17.
Georgia at Oklahoma State (-6): All the secrecy, this feels more like a Harrison Ford "Raiders" sequel than a football game, like busting into a monument to find T. Boone in there, melting gold.
There was Les, now Gundy. Is there a rule, you have to be wacky to coach the Cowboys?
The OSU fans are starting to choke like crazy, even in the face of an average quarterback.
It's simple, is OSU all bull?
OSU by 7.
OU (-21 1/2) at BYU: Those BYU coaches look reasonably young.
Wait, that's the team.
Stoops apt to detect a little steam from the critics after a 1-8 mark in his last 9 big ones, losing three of four to Big Mack, and five straight BCS bowls.
It's all on Venables this year, the corners need to make some plays.
BYU is quick upstairs, slow afoot.
OU by 28.
Illinois (-7) versus Missouri: Illinois could pass for a non-Big Ten team.
Illinois by 9.
Rice at UAB (-5 1/2): How'd this game get in here?
UAB by 1.
Baylor at Wake Forest (-1 1/2): Just what the Big 12 doesn't need in the opening round, a fat lip.
Wake by 4.
New Mexico at Texas A&M (-14): Most disappointing team of two most recent centuries opens its home season.
Aggies by 17.
Alabama (-7) versus Virginia Tech: Double figures might not be reached by either of these until week two.
Alabama by 2.
Sunday Mississippi (-17) at Memphis: Arkansas was a Nutt to run this guy off.
Miss by 20.
Colorado State at Colorado (-10 1/2): Buff fans closer to laid out than laid back.
Colorado coach no longer even talks a good game, must win.
Colorado by 13.
Monday Cincy at Rutgers (- 5 1/2): Big East, Ivy football tough to tell apart.
Rutgers by 1.
Miami at Florida State (-5 1/2): Coach Bowden, wake up, it's third and three.
Toughest schedule on earth grinds down Miami.
State by 6.
Bonus John Brooks impression: Jiiiiiiiiiminy Junior Prom, I'm doing a high school game!